Contemplative Reflections
“The way is made by walking.”
Antonio Machado
I had a stable, well-paying job, and in many ways it was good. But I knew that if I built my life around it, I would one day look back and feel I had wasted the opportunity to do more meaningful work—to me. The longing took shape as a desire to make a direct impact on the lives of others, and given my passion for health, at that time I could imagine no more meaningful path.
When we come to crossroads like these—truly life-changing ones and not without risk—how can we know what the right path is?
On a visit to Assisi, I met a Franciscan and shared my thoughts with him. He cautioned that the decision I was contemplating was very serious and recommended committing to pray about it for a full year, at least one hour a day—at that point, I was not yet aware of the the spiritual practices of discernment. I was surprised—not only by his guidance itself, but also by the amount of prayer such a decision required.
Ultimately, I left my position to focus on my studies. But a year and a half later, on Christmas Eve, I looked with despair at the study materials on my kitchen table—I had made almost no progress! I said out loud what my whole being had already recognized: “Lord, if this was of you, I would already be done with this degree.”
Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Ps 127:1 RSVCE
But along the way, something else was happening: a seed had been quietly planted and was growing. As Peter van Breeman wrote, “We often lack a sufficient awareness to recognize our deepest longing.”1
In my confusion about the way forward, I reached out to a religious friend to get his guidance. During our conversation, I was finally able to recognize that my deeper longing was to work in the area of faith. Following our discussion, I decided to shift my focus of study, and within three weeks, I was enrolled in my first course.
How do we know in decisions like these, that we are on the right track?
For me, the recognition came quickly. Reading an article for my first course assignment, I immediately understood why God had guided me to this program of study. The article focused on the Image of God, and I could see how a distorted understanding of God can quietly wound a person’s inner life, relationships, and faith. My passion had always been in helping people heal, and in that moment, I realized my true calling was toward spiritual health.2
Today we ponder Another—who eagerly waited at the threshold of becoming—a Light we can trust to illumine our path and guide our own unfolding.
Inspired by this personal journey, in the new year we will begin a series exploring the Image of God. To stay connected and to be notified when these articles are released, you are welcome to click here.
1Peter van Breeman, The God of Our Deepest Longing, Seven Biblical Meditations (Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 2009), trans. Peter Heinegg, 3.
2Another indication that I was on the right path was the ease with which I completed the studies, graduating in just two years.
